How to Be That One Lawyer Who Loves Her Lawyer Life

I wanted to keep my soul intact (C. Schultz)

Photo Credit (above): Lenna Davis (Cover Photo by Jennifer Schuman)

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine from high school, and the conversation meandered to chat about the trials and tribulations of a mutual friend of ours who was a partner at the local office of a global law firm. She was stressed out beyond belief; always traveling for depositions and trials, and last time I talked with her, she mentioned that she rarely saw her husband. We went back and forth sharing observations about other lawyers we each knew, and suddenly my friend paused and remarked, “You know what, Idara? You’re the only lawyer I know who’s not hating their life.” I was initially taken aback by her statement; I didn’t know what to say. Fortunately, she didn’t notice the brief silence on my end of the line, and the conversation veered back to talking about other things, but I couldn’t get her words out of my mind. While I am grateful for the life I currently live and enjoy in many respects, I didn’t think it was particularly remarkable until my friend’s words got me to thinking about how my own lawyer life had unfolded (and is still unfolding), and distilling some lessons learned to pass along to those who are engaged in their inner reflection and evaluation at this time. The following components stand out to date:

The Status Quo is Just a Suggestion

I remember early on, as a 1L, very clearly (and repeatedly) seeing the image of a sea of people wearing sensible blue suits- my fellow classmates. It felt like a crowd agitating in a swarm, really; arguably racing to grab a prized summer associate position; seeking confirmation that one was on the right path, and thinking to myself, This is not me. Frankly, it concerned me at the time. I did not have an objective basis for this realization, and I certainly didn’t know what other options were available for me to pursue. All I had was a visceral level understanding that the law firm associate to partnership track, which back then was presented as the only professional path to take in the early 90s, when I was a student, did not fully resonate. This was further solidified by my overall experience of that traumatizing year as a woman of color at a law school in the South, where I can confidently assert there was an absence of a built-in constituency rooting for my success, which may have contributed to the sense of being an outsider looking in. I was able to cultivate a distance which while a bit of a quieter, and less populated path to travel at the time, it allowed me to assess (traditional) professional opportunities at the time through the lens of how well they aligned with my values and temperament vs. viewing them as automatic mandates of a course of action to pursue. I still proceed similarly today.

Recognizing the Limits of Thinking Like a Lawyer

We all know that lawyering is primarily a left-brained exercise- moving through the reams of fact patterns we encounter and leading with logic and analysis to provide service to our clients wouldn’t be possible otherwise. And clearly, as time passes and we mature as individuals and practitioners, society rewards us handsomely for operating in the world this way. However, I believe it is important to stress that this approach only goes so far. Right brain skills such as creativity, imagination, and intuition do not necessarily make their way into many law school curricula, but as new challenges surface in our careers, it behooves us to consciously cultivate them- and ultimately become adept at switching back and forth between these spheres of knowledge and operation. For many, it is a season where everything that they knew to be true and dependable has been upended. Consciously cultivating new tools and training in ways of eliciting new insights has been the only way I have been able to determine, even in the absence of scant objective evidence, how best to navigate the earlier years of my legal career and pivot when needed. A legal professional with an agile mind and a receptive spirit paves the way to better lawyering and a more fulfilling life experience.

The Passion Prescription

I have always thought it was important to find a cause or activity that you are passionate about and incorporate it into your life somehow- plugging it into the energy of it just really makes life worth living on so many levels. Whether it is in, around, or outside the law, make it a priority to engage in meaningful activities. Earlier in my career, I had the opportunity to do some public interest work on behalf of veterans affected by Agent Orange exposure. Even wading through stacks of deteriorating, dusty files was a joy when my colleagues and I were able to help even one veteran navigate the bureaucratic backlog to access some much-needed benefits he/she was entitled to. For many years I have enjoyed creating mixed-media collages as a creative outlet- first for family members, then for private collectors, and then in 2020 launching my line of wearable art and housewares based on those designs. No one is going to knock on your proverbial lawyer life door and say, “Here is your permission to be interested and engaged!” There are so many places where there is a need for either your legal expertise or your non-law-related gifts and talents. Not only are lawyers who work with a sense of purpose less susceptible to burnout, but it is also a personal stand for the quality of life you desire and deserve.

So, some twenty-plus years of navigating the law career road less travelled has had its ups and downs, but it has been a road informed and infused by what resonates with my soul. I am actively seeking to write more extensively about this topic, and I would love to hear your thoughts on the thinking that has informed your lawyer life. Are you currently in a season of change or re-evaluation in your own legal career? What would have been helpful for you to have heard earlier in creating one that fulfills and nourishes you? What words of wisdom do you have to share with a newly minted law grad or younger self? Kindly comment here in response to this post, or feel free to contact me privately at Idara@LoveYourLawyerLife.com.